You work out of a Hotel?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize