do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
