I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
