but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
