okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize