so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize