I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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