Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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