I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize