i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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