I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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