I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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