I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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