I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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