Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
