this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
