Just cropdusted the office
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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