After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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