All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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