Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
