they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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