Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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