I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
