you traded sex for a burrito?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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