just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
