carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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