At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
