those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
