if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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