David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
