he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
soo... how was my night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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