I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
