me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize