oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
