I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
