Can Purell be used as lube?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we're making bets on your personal life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
