I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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