Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
