I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
