At least make sure they are 18
Why
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
