We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
