Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
