he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize