we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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