Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
A+ Viking dick
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize