I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
