I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
