im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
