In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
