atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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