I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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