bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
