she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
