after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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