i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
as a side note pls kill me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
