Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
