Taylor Swift is so right about you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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