The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
