So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
