I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Be still, my beating vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
