Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
